Dear Moses… A letter from Miriam

July 16, 2008 in Uncategorized

Dear Moses,

 

            I am writing to apologize for speaking out against you the other day.  I want to explain what came over me, not as an excuse for what I did, but so you know the reason.  You see, there are issues between us that festered in my heart for a long time, and I hope we can discuss them and find some healing for us, our family, and all Israel.

 

            Being your big sister has always been difficult.  Putting you in that river, approaching Pharaoh’s daughter, and pretending all those years to be someone besides your sister put a lot of pressure on me.  I was so angry with the Egyptians, and I was angry with you for living a charmed life along with them.  Even though I knew it was the only way to save you, I resented you for the freedom you enjoyed while our masters abused us.  But now I understand that you went through similar turmoil, not knowing fully who you were as a son of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, and as a Levite.  While you appeared to be care-free, I knew that was not the case after you killed that Egyptian man.

 

            The relief I felt then was brief, because you ran away right after that.  You were our only hope for help, and then you took off!  Of course, it was to save your own life, but what about us?  Just like when you were a baby, your life was more important than the rest of us.  Why did God like you so much, and look after you, and seem to ignore the rest of us?   Honestly I, we, felt rejected by God and by you.

 

            The hardest slap in the face was when you finally came back.  I understood why you never got circumcised, but it seems at least you could have been one of us through marriage!  You could have had your pick, but you took a Midianite.  Then it seemed clear that you just did not want to be one of us.  It hurt very badly to be rejected by the brother you worked so hard to protect.

 

            But you came back with a powerful conviction to free us, casting plagues on Egypt left and right.  This sent mixed signals.  Did you really care about us, or did you think you could rule us yourself?  Did Yahweh really want to free us to serve him, or to serve you?  And Egypt’s punishment fell right back on us, only increasing the confusion.  We followed, yes, but not always out of excitement, but out of fear.  If Yahweh could do this to Egypt, could he not do it to us too.  And you seemed to have such influence over him, too much power for one man. 

 

            But when Yahweh spoke to me, then it was clear.  He loved and cared for me to, and everything he did through you, he did for us, for our family, and for Israel.  I’ll never understand why he chose you, maybe just to show that his choice has nothing to do with our strength, or our merit.  Its all about his mercy and grace, and that is shown most powerfully in our weaknesses.  The other day, Aaron and I thought it was about our merit, our strength, but thank God he showed us otherwise.  Thank you for praying for us, for using your influence for good.  You are a wonderful brother, a great leader, and a faithful servant of Yahweh.  Please forgive me for resenting you, because I was really resenting Yahweh’s choice of you.  I love you.

 

                                                                                                            Your sister,

                                                                                                            Miriam  

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